Our Family Geneology according to Bob

My second oldest sister "K" married her brother "C".
The third older sister "B" is married and lives in Georgia, she has twin boys (born several years apart).
My brother "C" that he thinks married the second oldest sister "K" he also married his twin brother "M's" wife "J". The 2 twin brothers are not twins.
My brother "C's" wife "A" is responsible for all the things he ever lost or cannot find.
He also has an oldest daughter (that he raised to the age of 8) that he has never met.

No thanksgiving this Sunday

I took a break from Bob this week, since we went to my sisters house for Christmas, of course Bob was disappointed he did not have any extra food to not eat. Our plan is to stop the Sunday thanksgiving meals since it takes up half my day.

We did attach a piece of plexiglass to his bathtub with special caulking (that can be easily removed) so he can take a bath after 2 months. ಠ_ಠ

Bob the Buffoon

Bob would be mortified if he knew how he is now.

and Bob said "Let there be light!"

And there was light, but the light was just a bit dimmer than the last time there was light, and Bob said "that it was good.... enough".

Bob has awakened from his latest episode with vascular dementia. He was way more lucid than he has been for the last several weeks. I could almost have a normal conversation with him... but not quite. He now understands things he did not just a few days ago and even remembers a few things but the elevator can't get up to the penthouse.

He was telling me that I need to respect him, and by respect he means I should just agree with anything he wants and do what he wants no matter how illogical it is. I told him I would respect him if he would cooperate with us. he said "you treat me like a 3 year old" I told him "you act like a 3 year old". he did not like that.

We went to the Alzheimers doctor today and he was in quite a good mood. While we were there he saw the records the doctor had and wanted to see them. While he pretended he knew what he was looking at, and went through them the doctor and I talked about him, he was oblivious to all of it.

He thinks that I am paying for his lunch program and I told him several times that he is, his response is that I am going to "run him out of money." When I mentioned this to the doctor she said with a wink "it's amazing what his insurance will pay for now a days." Which means I should lie to him. So that is what I will tell him the next time he asks.

The Doctor reaffirmed what I already knew, that besides Alzheimers, he also has vascular dementia, and these episodes will continue until he dies.

The doctor wrote a prescription saying that he needs to be in assisted living, and she will also draw up the paper work stating that he is not capable of making informed decisions. This will activate my powers of attorney for him permanently.

When he has to go in to memory care or assisted living and they take all his money he will have a fit, the doctor said that if we tell her in advance then she can prescribe meds to make this less of a problem.

Can't sleep clown will eat me

It's getting harder and harder to deal with Bob.

My wife picked him up today, after taking him to the cafeteria at his apartment complex. He got French toast, scrambled eggs and hash browns. He wolfed it all down, then a couple of hours later had 2 hamburgers from Jack in the box. She took him to her mother's house. he was there for about 1.5 hours before he became bored.

We refilled his pill dispenser and after thanksgiving dinner took him home, we forgot his "extra" food, he made a point to tell us about it.

During dinner he told me he never sleeps. I said of course you do, there followed a slew of no I don't, yes you do's. I told him if he did not sleep for longer than 36 hours he would hallucinate and sleep no matter what. I ended up just saying ok a lot.

I am really tired of this BS.

Boner Pills

Took Bob to a Doctors appointment, when we sat down in the waiting room he wanted to know what I knew about viagra. JEBUS H CHRIST! WHY?

When he was in the exam room, I asked the doctor if he had ever told Bob to eat lots of Bananas (he had not). I also asked if he had ever told Bob that Chocolate Milk is good for him (he had not).

Then Bob asked the doctor if he could get viagra. The doctor asked if it was for him to be intimate with someone, or just for himself. Bob could not answer.

The doctor told him that if he took viagra in his condition with his medication it would probably kill him.

Later when I dropped him off at his apartment, Bob said in a very dejected tone "well I guess I will just have a limp penis forever...."

Rescue Mission

Visited Bob and under the pretext of "borrowing" his camera and volt meter we are preventing him from throwing these things away when he tries to use them and they "don't work".

It's all about Bob!

The only thing that exist in the universe of Bob... is Bob!

The rest of us are just puppets or figments of his demented imagination. Nothing matters to Bob but Bob and what Bob is interested in. All roads lead to Bob. Bob is all knowing and all seeing (except when he isn't). If Bob does not understand it, then it does not exist. If Bob thinks it is broken nothing can fix it. If Bob upsets someone Bob ignores their emotions since they do not make any sense to Bob. The universe exists only in so far as what Bob sees, (like a 3d video game running on an old PC) the universe is only displaying what Bob is looking at. Bob is an android who's internal storage is becoming corrupt. Bob's programming does not allow for the admission of error. The Bob unit does not have any error checking protocols. The Bob unit is infallible, even when the Bob unit admits error the Bob unit intended to err. When the Bob unit has been wronged it is ok for the Bob unit to wish a painful punishment and even death upon those that transgressed the Bob unit. What the Bob unit forgets disappears from the universe. When the Bob unit loses something in its apartment then that thing was stolen/misplaced/lost by an entity other than the Bob unit. If you show the Bob unit that the item is in the Bob unit's apartment the Bob units "brain" will short circuit and the Bob unit will act as if the item was there all along and the Bob unit knew it.

When the Bob unit came over to this puppets house for the food that is the right of the Bob unit to consume, the Bob unit brought a large pile of books and stuff that the Bob unit wanted to show to this puppet. the Bob unit was upset that this puppet had seen the stuff before, the Bob unit cannot accept this since the Bob unit wants to talk about the Bob units obsessions and this puppet must be in error so the Bob unit continued to try and show this puppet the obsessions.

The Bob unit made his thoughts known about the puppet that gave the Bob unit the driving test and the Bob unit wants the driving test puppet to be tortured and killed. The driving test puppet made a mistake in taking the Bob units license away as the Bob unit is an infallible driver.

When we took the Bob unit home this puppet showed the Bob unit how to prepare the meals that the Bob unit got because  the Bob unit stayed in the hospital. This puppet does not think that the Bob unit will eat the meals as the Bob unit will probably not be able to follow the inferior programming of the microwave.

The Bob unit did not eat lunch at the cafeteria because the Bob unit thinks that the lunches are not substantial enough, even though this puppet explained again to the Bob unit the they are.

This puppet has started buying the items used to nourish the Bob unit from the Bob units bank account since the Bob unit has been throwing the inferior food away.

This Puppets wife asked for the movie back that she loaned the Bob unit, the Bob unit notified her that the Bob unit threw the movie away because it did not work in the Bob units computer, even though this puppet showed the Bob unit that it worked last week. The Bob units decision on this is final as the Bob unit knows what works and what doesn't. I am sure that the Bob unit will throw many of its dvd's away as well since they will also "not work".

This puppet is tired of the Bob units shit and cannot wait till the Bob unit is in memory care and the Bob unit can be someone else's problem.

The birds and the bees

Yesterday Bob called me and said he needed chocolate milk... "Ok I will get it for you tomorrow".

Today around 1pm he called me and was upset that I had not brought him the chocolate milk ಠ_ಠ

I told him I would get it but not till after work, he said he went down stairs because he thought my wife had bought some and left it down there... somewhere ಠ_ಠ

I asked him how much milk he had, and he said "a gallon" ಠ_ಠ I said a gallon would last him several days. he said "this isn't going to work!" ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ANYWAYS!

So after work I went to the grocery store and bought him 2 10 packs of hamburger patties, 1 loaf of bread, a package of thinly sliced ham, 2 bunches of bananas, 8 puddings, 2 gallons of chocolate milk, 1 package of soft cookies, and 1 1/2 "gallon" of "death by chocolate" ice cream.

I had finished checking his bandage and made sure he did not have an infection on his arm.

He looked at me and said "I need to ask you a question"...

"OK" I said... "It's a very personal question" he said...

Yes.....

"It's a very, VERY personal question" he said again.

"Get to the point Bob" I said.

"Ok" he said... Girls have a vagina right?

"Uhm... Yes" I said.

"and Boys have a penis right" he said

"That is correct" I said

The next thing he said just blew my mind...

"well then were does it go when you put it in her?"

"Bob........" I said.

"I can't explain that, you had several kids and were married once, and had a couple of girlfriend."

"If you don't remember then I can't help you"

"That doesn't make any sense..." he said

I tried to change the subject by testing his pupil response because he doesn't like bright lights, his pupils don't change size. I talked about the meal program at his complex and explained it to him, he still wanted to know. 

I tried to leave but he pulled out a stack of papers about 3/4 of an inch thick and began to tell me all about the stuff that was in it. I let him get about half way through it before doing the best I could to leave. He just kept telling me about the stuff. I finally had to be slightly rude to leave.

Something is very wrong with Bob

He called me today and told me that he was almost out of food. I really get tired of writing about this so we'll just skip to: he is not out of food. He just cannot plan or understand that the food he has is enough to last him over a week.

He told me that the extra beef that I have been sending home with him he has been throwing away. I do not know for how long. He won't eat it because it is not cooked all the way and does not understand that reheated meat that is pink will cook to brown.

He has forgotten how to cook almost everything he used to eat. His diet consists of hamburger patties with gravy on them, boiled frozen vegetables, the occasional pork chop, microwaved potatoes, bananas and chocolate milk.

He wanted me to tell him how to make mashed potatoes and gravy (something he used to know how to make).

We went there to change his bandage, and see how much food he has. he is very confused and nothing makes sense to him. If he does not remember it then it did not happen and you cannot convince him otherwise. He repeats stories and goes off on tangents and cannot focus on anything. I could not completely remove the bandage because the scab had soaked in to it and hardened. So I removed part of the gauze and soaked the scabby bandage with alcohol and covered that with a new piece of gauze and a new wrap.

After we left he called me later and wanted me to tell him how to access his bank account. It is pointless for me to explain it over the phone to him in his present state as the process is too complicated for him. Not 10 minutes later he called and said that I had not told him how to access his account. I had to tell him all over that I cannot tell him over the phone.

Tomorrow we are going to see about signing him up for some kind of meal programs, either at the apartment or through meals on wheels.

Bob is a vampire!

I'm convinced of this because he constantly complains that he is super sensitive to light. Everywhere we go if the sun or any bright light hits him in the face he reacts like he's going to melt. Similar to this:


Today we went over to check on his arm where the cancer was and it was bleeding all over the place, so I cleaned it with alcohol and put a new bandage on it.

Skin cancer has Bob removed

I called Bob today at 2:00pm to remind him I was picking him up for his appointment. He of course did not remember. When I picked him up at 2:20pm he was still wearing the clothes from almost 2 weeks ago.

While I was driving to the Doctor he asked me about 3 times where we were going and why. He also told me how The lunches at his complex are not substantial. so now he's not happy about that.

At the doctors they numbed the growth on his arm and the doctor scraped it off, and cauterized it. he did this 3 times and it took about 20 minutes.

Earlier he had told me that when he was in St. Lukes that they had him shave with a norelco shaver and he thought it was the greatest thing, so we went to walgreens to get him a shaver and some other stuff.

Then we went to the grocery store again because he thought that he did not have enough food to make it through the week. I tried to interest him in other stuff than he normally buys but he either was not interested or the instructions to fix it were too complicated. By complicated I mean that they involved more than 2 steps.

I took him home and helped put away his groceries and plugged in the shaver he probably won't be able to figure out how to use.

Shocked and Disgusted

Bob came over for thanksgiving again, he told the stories about me crawling on all fours and how the doctor said I was too pretty to be a boy (when I was a baby) about 4 times. He said that he went to the cafeteria and had a light lunch of fruit. Someone gave him 2 train magazines. I almost passed out from shock!

After dinner we retired to the living room for a rollicking fun time of "trim the old mans toe nails!" I tried using a pair of wire cutters that can handle a 16 penny nail and I could not cut them because I could not get a hold of the toenails and because it hurt him too much. We trimmed what we could and my wife got a toenail in the face.

The stench of his ancient mummy feet was horrific!

Running errands

Picked Bob up today, he was dressed and his shirt was buttoned and tucked in for the first time in almost a month.

We went to the bank and he cashed a bunch of checks.

Then to a third party DMV to transfer the title of his truck to me.

Then to the grocery store, where he went shopping at HYPOspeed, well he did, I went and did my thing at NORMAL speed and then found him.

As usual he could not find his precious chocolate milk. I asked a worker there and they went back to look and thankfully they had some in the back. All is right with the world!

I took him back to his apartment.

Several times (while we were out) he asked me if he would ever be able to drive again. I told him I did not know. He also brought up getting his license from Glendale, I told him that Glendale does not issue licenses the State of Arizona does that.

I told him to go downstairs and ask the other people who live there how they get around without a car.

A new lease on life...(for now)

Yesterday when I was talking to Bob I told him several times to get up, get dressed, and get his butt down to the lobby. I told him to talk to people and find out what there is to do and whatever else he could.

Well it appears that he did, he told my wife that because of that he has a "new lease on life"... except the people he talked to told him he was given a raw deal and that he should go to the city of glendale and get his drivers license there.

sigh™

So at some point I will have to burst his bubble. The only way he could get his license back (since it was taken away for medical reasons) is to have a doctor sign off on him being safe to drive, THEN he would still have to take another test which would cost another $425.

He also seems to be smitten with my wife lately. ಠ_ಠ

I got his pill dispenser last night, programmed it and loaded it with pills. I will be taking it to him probably tonight.

Not even 1 day later

I called him this morning to make sure he had eaten dinner, and was going to have breakfast and take his pills.

He wasn't even back at his apartment 1 day and he was complaining that he was trapped and being held prisoner because he could not drive.

I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with him and told him repeatedly to get dressed, go down to the lobby and talk to people, ask them what there is to do and so on.

He made every excuse he could, but it appears he actually went down there. Whether he did anything else besides imitate Eeyore I do not know.

My wife is taking him to dinner tonight, I am not going as I cannot take anymore of illogical, forgetful old people today.

I spoke with the social worker at his apartment complex and she suggested that other than going in to memory care, that he would be better off in a group home. I did not tell her that, that was not something he would go along with.