Friday, December 11, 2015

The birds and the bees

Yesterday Bob called me and said he needed chocolate milk... "Ok I will get it for you tomorrow".

Today around 1pm he called me and was upset that I had not brought him the chocolate milk ಠ_ಠ

I told him I would get it but not till after work, he said he went down stairs because he thought my wife had bought some and left it down there... somewhere ಠ_ಠ

I asked him how much milk he had, and he said "a gallon" ಠ_ಠ I said a gallon would last him several days. he said "this isn't going to work!" ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ANYWAYS!

So after work I went to the grocery store and bought him 2 10 packs of hamburger patties, 1 loaf of bread, a package of thinly sliced ham, 2 bunches of bananas, 8 puddings, 2 gallons of chocolate milk, 1 package of soft cookies, and 1 1/2 "gallon" of "death by chocolate" ice cream.

I had finished checking his bandage and made sure he did not have an infection on his arm.

He looked at me and said "I need to ask you a question"...

"OK" I said... "It's a very personal question" he said...
Yes.....

"It's a very, VERY personal question" he said again.
"Get to the point Bob" I said.

"Ok" he said... Girls have a vagina right?
"Uhm... Yes" I said.

"and Boys have a penis right" he said
"That is correct" I said

The next thing he said just blew my mind...

"well then were does it go when you put it in her?"
"Bob........" I said.
"I can't explain that, you had several kids and were married once, and had a couple of girlfriend."
"If you don't remember then I can't help you"

"That doesn't make any sense..." he said


I tried to change the subject by testing his pupil response because he doesn't like bright lights, his pupils don't change size. I talked about the meal program at his complex and explained it to him, he still wanted to know. 

I tried to leave but he pulled out a stack of papers about 3/4 of an inch thick and began to tell me all about the stuff that was in it. I let him get about half way through it before doing the best I could to leave. He just kept telling me about the stuff. I finally had to be slightly rude to leave.

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